The Truth of Twenty

In 3 short months, I will be 22. I will be officially “in my twenties” and only moving farther and farther into adulthood. I will have been able to legally to drink for a full year, and then only 3 years left until everywhere will let me rent a car. I was told that these were going to be the best years of my life. The fun years, the wild years, the “no strings attached” years.  And let me just go ahead and say that I am calling bullshit on all of that. 

What an opener right? And not scare anyone about to enter into this club, but it  is really hard and weird and no one prepares you for any of it. There are certain things that you should apparently know by now, and if you ask about it, you will  be looked down on. There is no such thing as a “permanent address” when you switch up apartments every year, and that is all anyone wants you to have. Very quickly you will be off your parents medical insurance, and for the accident prone human I am, that is terrifying. There is college, jobs, relationships, friendships and so much more and we are expected to balance it all while filling out applications and keeping our resumes/linkedins up to date so we don’t have to move back in with our parents after graduation. And most of us end up having to do it anyway. 

Tired of watching TV and movies about young twenty somethings living in a beautiful bohemian loft in Brooklyn with their designer shoes and working at their dream jobs? Read on for a dose of brutal honesty. 

Pressure. That is the one thing that comes to mind when thinking of daily life at the moment. There is pressure coming from all sides about anything you can think of. Pressure to finish school as quickly as possible. Pressure to then have a job as soon as I graduate. Pressure to not move back in with my parents. Pressure to get married or at least be in a relationship. And really what it comes down to at the end of the day: pressure to have and do it all. Once I thought this was a possible way of life, but as I currently sit here trying to have it all, I realize there is no way that is possible. 

I started to really see this during the school year. I was being social and going out, dating, going to school full time, and working full time. When there are this many things on your plate there is just no way for them to all be equal. Something always suffers. In my case it was sleep which lead to health issues and an overall lack of enthusiasm for most things. Maybe this gets easier when school is no longer a thing, but at least for now there is no way to be everything. The truth is, all of us twenty-somethings out here are constantly trying to pull our shit together, and sometimes failing quite miserably at it. 

My life is a mess, but not always in a bad way. I am super busy and run from one place to the other and eat most of my meals in my car while I fix my mascara and hopefully make it to work with the same two shoes on. I used to be ashamed of the fact that I am almost always living in complete chaos, but its honestly just par for the course. The more people I get to know, the more people also seem to be living this way; they are just better at hiding it. I am slowly coming to realize that this time of life is not meant for stability and planning. There are too many uncertainties to plan for, and there is no way to make the process go any faster. Movies and tv shows about young twenty-something professionals leaves out all the moments that make it simultaneously scary and fun. There is no other time in your life when you can dance on a table and sing along to “Closing Time” at 2am for a friends birthday. Or walk around town/campus in the middle of the night with friends. Or blow off responsibilities for the weekend and spontaneously drive and camp somewhere. The truth of being in your twenties is that there is no money, no stability, a lot of stress, and a lot of decisions to be made. There are no designer shoes, and there is no bohemian Brooklyn loft. There is no sleep, a lot of work, and a lot of questions. But the good news is every other twenty-something is going through it too. 

I guess what I am saying is maybe there is some truth to these being the best years of oyur life, as long as you embrace the messiness and also have a good meltdown now and then.

So, grab a bottle of cheap wine, turn on a rom-com with your parents Netflix account, and go commiserate with a friend. Because even though it is completely awful, it also somehow completely fun to have no strings attached (becasue you actually don't). Embrace the chaos, having a plan for your life is completely boring anyway (but only kind of). 

Madey