Body Positivity and Chronic Illness
Hey everyone, this is going to be a shorter post than usual becasue I have been crazy busy with school and work and haven't had enough time to write and edit! The next few posts coming up are going to be good though so stayed tune!
Body positivity is a hot button topic that is spoken about almost daily. If it isn't in the news because some celebrity is calling out body shammers, it is in every day conversation between the people you interact with. Working in retail, its a topic we talk about several times a day; between unpacking new clothes, or dealing with irate mothers, body positivity and its importance are everywhere. But, I’ve recently come to notice that it's a topic that really only includes size and has left something pretty crucial out. How do you remain body positive when your body is actively working against you everyday?
A study done in 2012 by the CDC reveled that about 117 million people struggled with a chronic illness. Chronic illness mostly includes autoimmune diseases like lupus or psoriasis, but the umbrella term has come to mean any illness that has no cure and has life long implications and daily struggles. This means everything from diabetes to side effects people deal with after chemotherapy. But somehow it is still rarely talked about. My lovely little disease, endometriosis, is also under that umbrella.
When your body is constantly working against you, and making you feel horrible, body positivity in any form is hard to come by. How can you love a body that keeps you on the couch for days at a time? That flares up at seemingly random times with pain and exhaustion? That keeps you from having a social life? Keeps you from working? Mine even dictates what clothes I can wear and when depending on how swollen my stomach is. These issues become exacerbated when everyone around me reminds me how skinny I am and how lucky I am to be so small. When in all reality I am lucky to weigh what I do. I have to work hard to keep my weight even and healthy, and even though some may call that a blessing, its a curse that has had doctors questioning my mental health for years.
My chronic illness has only made that worse. With a restricted diet, restricted activity, and bouts of exhaustion that further restrict that activity, makes keeping weight on and not adding additional issues, life one big uphill battle. Most people don't realize it, but not weighing enough is just as dangerous as weighing too much. It causes heart problems, organ failure, hormonal issues, bones loss, and so much more. For someone like me who fights daily to even weigh this much, hearing “You’re just lucky you're so thin”, feels like a slap to the face.
For those of us who are up everything morning with chronic pain, who check symptoms, who try and get a feel for the energy level they have that day, for hoping nothing new is wrong, body positivity stops being about size and look and starts being about not hating your body for all the things it gets wrong everyday. So, for all my chronic illness buddies out there struggling with body love and appreciation, just know you are not alone and one day maybe we will be able to look in the mirror and have the same application for our bodies the same way everyone else seems to.
P.S. I’ve found on days when my clothes don't fit right and I want to crawl back under the covers and hide, a little lipstick and mascara goes a long way.