Ripped Up

The past week has been a bit rough for me. And even though I made a whole post about the fact that you don’t anyone on the internet anything, I did want to share this little tidbit with you all. Last week I found out that I will have to stay at school an extra term that I initially thought. When I spoke to an advisor earlier this academic year, I was told that I wold be able to graduate after doing one more fall term, so I would get to be done in December of this year. Now I wont be done until the end of March 2020.

It is such a mess in that I am now going to be in school longer than planned and will be in more debt than planned, which is already the case unfortunately. I won’t be able to work full time as planned. And my patience for school is getting very thin. It is also extremely disheartening to be stuck in school even longer when all I want to do is get started with my life and see the world.

By the time I graduate, I will have been in the process of getting my undergraduate degree for 6 years. I know people who have only been here for 3 years and getting their degree at that same time I will be. I know people who have graduated in 4 years with two degrees, and even the old stand by of just completing undergrad in 4 years with their one degree like most people. And it has taken me 6 years to get one simple degree.

While there is obviously nothing actually wrong with this, and I will still be getting my degree, it feels terrible. It feels like a failure and like I am behind in my life somehow. If I am following the ideal life path of having graduated last year, then I should have an entry level job I hate right now, in a new city, on the path to getting to my dream job. But I am still in college, stressed, sleep deprived and paying thousands of dollars to an institution that is the reason I am still here. Yes, part of it is my fault for having transferred too many times, but the other part is solely on the school for not giving correct information, and for them causing issues and then making me live with the consequences.

At this point, there is nothing I can do to change this. I am going to do my best to make the most of it, even though I will be in classes all summer yet again. One day this will be over and I will have my degree and my life “in the real world” can start. It is so hard to remain positive when it is out of my control and I am stuck in this situation when I have been putting in the work to get out.

Thank you for making it through that rant and looking at these amazing photos this week. It is fashion and fun things like working on this blog that keep me motivated to finish school and not throw in the towel. That and the fact that I am in too much debt to quit.

Photos by: Sabrina Wassmer

Madey

Shop this post:

Tank Top- Dressed in LaLa

Jeans- American Eagle, similar here

Boots- Doc Martens